How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
