i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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