I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
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