I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
