i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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