I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
