Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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