hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
