Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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