and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I believe in your delicious
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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