I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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