once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
