So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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