As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
