16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
