Heybabeimwearingurpanties
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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