my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
