We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
