yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
