On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
