i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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