dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My ass is underappreciated
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
