My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
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