what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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