Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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