I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
