It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
