So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
