So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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