I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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