just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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