My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i've created a new STD.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize