You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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