I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
