Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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