I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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