So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize