i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
