you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize