took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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