once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize