Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
