There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
