I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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