I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
