why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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