He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
where are you?
Hypothermia
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
