so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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