So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
