I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
