YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
