the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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