Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
