I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize