I hope mine doesn't look like that
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
