I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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