so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
