is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
