i already hear my dad disowning me
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
