super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize