YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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