Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
