This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
