Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
