mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
and she was petting her beer can
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
