I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
