just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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